TEACHING MOM TO FETCH

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I'm only happy when it rains.

I slept late today. The kids weren't happy. Thunder rumbling, finally roused me. It normally deters the dogs from going outside. Malibu though, had no problem, running through the mud, chasing the rain. She's a fool for guzzling from the hose like it's a keg at Beerfest. I have to release the nozzle so she doesn't drown. The raindrops sliding down her nose energize her. She runs wild across the yard. My poor floors don’t stand a chance.

My housekeepers, Roomba and Brava jet, will take care of the cleaning. So far, the sensors in this Roomba have not failed. I had to pick apart the last vacuum and clean it from inside out.

I’m out here in a nightgown and a raincoat. I’m glad my husband insisted on a wooden fence when we bought this house.

"Come on," I tell the Boss, Maze. Malibu is inside at this point. I can’t take the two of them at the same time. “We’ll conquer the element’s. Punch the storm in the face."

The Boss shakes her head, eyeballs me like I’ve lost my mind.

The Boss takes one step, then retreats. Her tail thumping, she sniffs the door.

At least she’s not like Malibu, who will need to go back out in an hour or two.

On the other side of the fence, I hear my neighbor calling her dog, Dude. I’m not alone. She calls him several times.

The Boss makes her way to the dog room when she sees the treats in my hand. My husband calls her spoiled.

My 70 pound baby is a lapdog.

Bourbon is her McDreamy, but he isn’t keen on her. When she’s out of sight, I lure him to the door. He glances at the rain and bolts back into hiding.

Kid and Sophia, the cats, hug each other in one of the cat beds. They remind me of the reality television show Naked and Afraid Contestants. Huddled together, they share warmth in their Boma.

Mimi, the cat snores, sleeping off the rainy weather on a yellow chaise lounge near window.

A friend of mine said her cats had PhDs in relaxing . Sitting still makes me restless, but I need to take a cue from the cats.

Lesson learned: Earn a PhD in the art of relaxation or chill out



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